Sex Toy Beginner's Guide

SSMTOYS Editorial Team

Faced with a dazzling array of sex toys, it’s completely normal to feel a bit overwhelmed at first. Whether you’re choosing something for yourself or for a partner you care about, it’s helpful to start with some foundational knowledge about these items.

Are you wondering how to select the right sex toy to create a more enjoyable and fulfilling sex life? Or maybe you’re curious about expanding your options but unsure which toys work best for different moods, bodies, or situations.If you’ve ever felt puzzled by cock rings, intimidated by vibrators, or uncertain about anal plugs, keep reading. Let’s gently explore the many wonderful facets of the world of sex toys — they’re here waiting to be discovered.

Why do people use sex toys?

Regardless of gender or sexual orientation,sex toys can add entirely new layers of excitement and pleasure to solo exploration or partnered intimacy. People turn to them for a variety of meaningful reasons:

- Experimenting with different sensations and styles of play

- Discovering, exploring, and broadening their sexual preferences

- Achieving more intense, longer-lasting, or blended orgasms

- Addressing specific challenges, such as erectile difficulties

- Refreshing and enhancing overall sexual happiness and well-being

How to choose and buy your first sex toy

Whether this is your very first purchase or your hundredth, there are a few practical things worth keeping in mind.

Welcome to the world of pleasure products. Here’s an overview of the main categories.

People use sex toys because they offer reliable, customizable ways to experience pleasure that might be difficult to achieve through manual stimulation alone. Large-scale surveys (such as those conducted by researchers at Indiana University) show that more than half of women and nearly half of men between 18 and 65 have used a vibrator at some point. Regular users often report higher levels of sexual satisfaction, better body awareness, and improved mood thanks to the release of endorphins and oxytocin during orgasm.

For some, toys become a practical tool for overcoming specific hurdles. Gentle, consistent vibration can help with arousal difficulties, improve blood flow in cases of mild erectile concerns, or support pelvic floor recovery after childbirth or during menopause. Therapists in sexual health and physical rehabilitation sometimes recommend certain designs for pain management or muscle strengthening.

In relationships, toys can serve as a bridge to deeper communication. Talking openly about what feels good, what you’re curious to try, or how a toy might enhance shared moments often strengthens emotional closeness and reduces performance pressure.

Practical steps for choosing your first toy

The best starting point is simplicity and safety. Here’s a realistic, step-by-step approach based on common recommendations from sexual health educators:

1. Clarify what you’re most curious about
  Ask yourself:
  - - Do I want primarily external stimulation (clitoris, penis head, nipples) or internal (G-spot, prostate)?
  - - Is this mainly for solo time or something I’d like to share with a partner?
  - - Do I prefer vibration, or am I more interested in sensation without motors?
  - - What’s a comfortable budget range for trying something new?

1. Prioritize body-safe materials above everything else
  The most important rule is choosing non-porous, non-toxic materials that won’t harbor bacteria or leach chemicals.
  - - Safest choices: medical-grade platinum silicone, borosilicate glass, stainless steel, ABS hard plastic.
      These are smooth, easy to clean thoroughly, and free from harmful additives.
  - - Avoid or use extreme caution with: jelly/rubber/TPE/TPR materials (even if labeled “phthalate-free” — they are porous and difficult to sanitize completely).
      If a seller is vague about exact materials, that’s usually a red flag.

1. Start small and beginner-friendly
  - - For external pleasure: a small bullet vibrator or compact wand-style massager. These are discreet, quiet, and very versatile.
  - - For internal exploration: a slim, gently curved vibrator or non-vibrating dildo (around 1–1.2 inches in diameter, 5–7 inches insertable length is approachable for most people).
  - - For men: a soft stroker sleeve or a simple vibrating cock ring to enhance erection firmness and add sensation for both partners.

1. A few more beginner essentials
  - - Always have plenty of water-based lubricant on hand (silicone-based lubes can damage silicone toys).
  - - Take your time during the first session — start on the lowest setting and let your body adjust.
  - - Clean thoroughly after each use with warm water and mild, fragrance-free soap or a dedicated toy cleaner. Boilable silicone and non-electronic glass/metal toys can even be sterilized by boiling.

Overview of the most common types

Vibrators
The most popular category for good reason — vibration delivers steady, even stimulation that’s hard to replicate manually.

- External-focused: bullets, mini wands, or pinpoint clit stimulators.

- Dual-stimulation (“rabbit” style): simultaneous internal and clitoral contact.

- Curved/G-spot or prostate models: angled to target specific internal sensitive zones.

Cock rings
Worn at the base of the penis (sometimes around the scrotum too), they help maintain firmer erections by gently restricting blood flow back out.

- Great for: extending duration, intensifying sensation, or adding clitoral vibration for partners when the ring has a motor.

- Safety note: never wear one for more than 30 minutes; choose adjustable silicone styles for comfort.

Anal toys / butt plugs
The anal area has a high concentration of nerve endings, and for many people, stimulation here (directly on the prostate in men or indirectly on the vaginal wall in women) creates uniquely powerful sensations.

- Beginner choice: a small, tapered plug with a wide flared base (never use anything without a secure base).

- Progression: vibrating plugs, graduated bead strings, or targeted prostate massagers.

- Essentials: generous lube, patience, and listening to your body — stop immediately if anything feels painful.

Dildos
Classic insertable toys without vibration (though many have motors).

- Materials vary widely — silicone feels warm and lifelike, glass and steel offer temperature play (cool or warm sensations).

- Versatile for solo use, strap-on play, or practicing depth and control.

Couple-friendly designs

- Wearable or remote-controlled vibrators: one partner controls while the other wears it — great for teasing in or out of the bedroom.

- Double-ended or harness-compatible options: simultaneous pleasure for both partners.

SSMTOYS

Sex toys are simply tools — helpful aids for self-discovery, pleasure enhancement, overcoming challenges, and bringing novelty into shared intimacy. They don’t replace connection, communication, or mutual care; they support and amplify those things when used thoughtfully.

The most rewarding approach is to move at your own pace. Start with one safe, simple item, pay close attention to what your body genuinely enjoys, and let curiosity guide you from there. Many people find that after a little experimentation, they gain not only more pleasure but also greater confidence and body awareness.

Your sexual journey is uniquely yours. May it be filled with safety, joy, and authentic connection