Using a vibrator or personal massager may seem easy, and it is—once you get the hang of it. But if you’re trying a vibrator for the first time, the process of selecting a sex toy and then actually pleasuring yourself with it can seem daunting. If you want to improve your sex life (including your solo play), you can start by thinking about what kind of touch and feel you enjoy. When it comes to vibes, you have so many choices—small or large, clitoral or bullet, realistic or not, waterproof or not, quiet or loud. The options are endless!
The sex experts at Spencer’s are here to help you figure out which types of vibrators will float your boat (and how to use them). The first thing to know about selecting a vibrator is that there’s no one perfect vibrator that will suit everyone. All of us have different bodies and desires, so our sex toy needs will differ. You’ve got plenty of options, from pocket rockets to rabbit vibrators to G-spot toys. Some people love large electrical plug-in massagers like the Magic Wand. For others, a portable bullet vibrator will do the trick. A wand vibrator generally is for clitoral and external stimulation, while a rabbit vibrator delivers both clitoral and internal stimulation. If you enjoy using sex toys in the bath or shower, you’ll want to look for a waterproof vibrator. These are just some of the many types of vibrators that you can choose from.
Once you know which type of vibrator you want to use, ensure you’re prepared with the right type of batteries (plus spares) or an accessible electrical outlet. Before you want to actually use the vibrator, insert batteries or plug the vibrator in, then turn it on. Look at how it moves and test the different speeds and patterns if it has them. Get used to how it operates. You want to make sure that in the heat of the moment, you can turn it up or down in intensity. Next, run your vibrator along the back of your hand, over a nipple, or along your thigh. This will give you a sense of how strong the vibrations are.
Now on to the fun part…
Let’s Prep
Choose a time and space where you have some privacy so you don’t have to be self-conscious about making noise. Some vibrators are on the quiet side, while some are louder. Give yourself at least an hour of alone time so you can get to know your new toy without rushing. If you’re using an insertable vibe like a G-spot vibrator, you’ll likely want to have some lube handy in case you need it for a little extra slickness. Since water-based lube is compatible with all sex toys regardless of the material they’re made from, it makes a great choice for your bedside table.
If you’re in bed, you’ll probably want to lay down a towel underneath you to protect your sheets. Make sure you are positioned comfortably and have plenty of support behind your neck.
When you’re ready to take your new sex toy for a ride, go to your chosen spot and get undressed. You may want to touch yourself for a few minutes to prime your body and further arouse yourself.
Start with the lowest setting
We suggest starting with the lowest vibrator setting so you can get used to the sensation before moving up to a faster speed. From there, experiment with different angles and amounts of pressure. You can lie on your back and insert the vibrator (or let it vibrate against you), or place the vibrator on your bed and lay down against it. Adjust your position to maximize your pleasure.
Feel free to moan or talk out loud while you’re letting the vibrations travel against your most sensitive body parts. You’ll soon discover which sensations feel the best. If your vibrator is insertable, go slowly to give your body time to adjust. If you need a little extra slickness, use some lubricant on the shaft of the toy or apply it to your body to help guide the vibrator inside.
You can also use your vibrator on other erogenous zones, like your nipples, or run it along your inner thighs. You may want to do this as a prelude to placing it against your genitals, or if you just want to see how it feels.
Experiment with different speeds
Many vibes have multiple speeds, letting you adjust the pace. Pay attention to what types of vibration feel the best. You can also stimulate other parts of your body, running your hands along your chest or stroking and pinching your nipples. In addition to various speeds, some toys have different vibration patterns you can choose from. There may be one that really does it for you; if that’s the case, stay with it and see what happens.
Combine your vibrator with your usual routine
If you’re used to the touch of your own hand, you don’t have to give it up just because you’ve got a new adult toy sharing your bed! Your fingers and your vibrator can work in tandem. Once your vibrator is comfortably inserted into your vagina, you can play with your clitoris, touching yourself in sync with the toy’s movements. You may discover that your orgasms feel different when aided by a vibrator. One way isn’t necessarily “better” than another, and you may want to switch back and forth between them.
Frequently asked questions
How long can you use a vibrator?
Read the instructions that come with your sex toy to give you a sense of how long your session may last.
Are vibrators only for women?
In a word, no! Guys, sex toys aren’t just a women’s thing, and if you’ve never used one, you’re missing out on a whole lot of fun! There are men’s vibrators that work perfectly with your anatomy, or you can feel free to use any vibe along your balls or the shaft of the penis when you’re in the mood. You can use vibrators on your own, or with a partner (see below). Another option that combines the strong power of vibes with a sex toy specifically designed for men is a vibrating cock ring. This goes around the base of the penis and can help you maintain an erection while delivering strong sensations. Many vibrating cock rings can also help your female partner with clitoral stimulation.
Can couples use vibrators?
Yes! Vibrators aren’t just used during masturbation. Many couples incorporate sex toys into their lovemaking to amplify their pleasure and intensify their orgasms, making their sex lives even hotter. Vibrators can be used as part of foreplay to help you both get aroused. A wonderful way to surrender a little control is to let your lover use a vibe on you, which will likely feel very different than when you’re running the show. There are even couples vibrators that provide stimulation to both of you at the same time.
You can also incorporate vibrators into intercourse, which can be done in the missionary position, doggy style, or other variations. You can take turns “testing” the vibe on one another or have each of you use vibrators while next to each other. This can be a way to add a new element to your sex life that can improve your intimacy and show you another side of what turns your partner on. Maybe you want to make a vibrator part of your date nights, or simply keep yours handy for spur-of-the-moment fun. Wand vibrators, with their round, wide heads, can be a way for you both to experience pleasure. You can take turns placing the wand along each other’s bodies, such as running it up and down your partner’s inner thighs.
To add a whole new level of playfulness, you might want to try a remote-controlled vibrator. Your partner can take the reins and decide which vibration pattern you feel next, or turn it on until you’re super close to reaching your peak, then turn it off for the ultimate tease.
Caring for your vibrator
Once you’re done using your vibrator, clean it according to the provided instructions (most vibes can be cleaned with sex toy cleaner or warm, soapy water). If it’s battery-operated, remove the batteries after each use to preserve the toy’s life. If it’s a plug-in model, always unplug your toy to maintain its longevity. Store it according to the care instructions.
We can’t stress enough that cleaning and storing your vibrator properly is necessary to ensure it lasts as long as possible. If you think you may want to travel with your new vibrator, you’ll want to make sure the batteries have been removed, and the vibrator is stored properly so it’s in tip-top shape when you go to unpack it.
Once you’ve put your sex toy away, treat yourself to something indulgent so you can savor the good mood you’re in even longer. Notice how you feel afterward, and if any after-effects linger.